I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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