I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I look better un-naked...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
