a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
