brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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