ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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