Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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