Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So much rum. So many feels.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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