OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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