Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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