i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
