trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize