this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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