bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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