About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
