i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
