in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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