I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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