I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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