Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
