how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
someone owes me an orgasm
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
