Sry I called you an 8
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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