someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
