The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
