party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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