I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
