She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
