This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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