the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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