She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
