She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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