i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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