cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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