I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
