I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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