Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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