In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize