Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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