My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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