Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Even my vagina gasped.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Alive.
So much puke
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
