Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize