well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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