i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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