It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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