Can Purell be used as lube?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
