Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
