Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
