Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
