Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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