i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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