Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize