I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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