Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
