Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
