At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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