I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
