My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
