Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
nut hugger
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize