I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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