I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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