That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
