Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
