I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
