Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
